Aku mencintaimu (Malec)
by Banefan
Summary: I decided that I really hate how Alec is so ashamed of his and Magnus's relationship, and goes to great lengths to hide it, and wanted to make him more confident without changing him too much. The way he handles Jace confronting him in front of everyone is tempting to change, so I'm thinking I'll start there. The result may be terrible, but here goes. Let me know what you think!


I decided that I really hate the way that Alec is so ashamed of his and Magnus's relationship, and goes to great lengths to hide it, and wanted to make him a more confident character without changing him too much. The way he handles Jace confronting him in front of everyone is tempting to change, so I'm thinking I'll start there. The result may be terrible, and it does stray from the original storyline but let me know what you think.

'Magnus took a thin blue cigarette out of his shirt pocket. "Not a friend of mine," he said. "I met him only on the few occasions when your mother brought him along when your memory spells were being refreshed." He passed his hand across the cigarette's tip and it lit with a multicolored flame. "Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart? Or am I just the only warlock you happen to know?" Jace had listened to this short speech with a smolder of fury sparking his amber eyes to gold. "No," he said now, "But you are the only warlock we know who happens to be dating a friend of ours."

City of Ashes - Cassandra Clare

The room was silent. Everyone was staring at Jace, Magnus in astonished anger, Alec in shock and Clary and Simon in confusion.

Magnus was the first to speak. "If you don't mind, I would rather you didn't but into my private life." He crossed his arms, eyes slitted. Alec continued to stare at Jace, turning pale.

"What?" said Jace, mirroring Magnus's position, looking incredulous, "you think it wasn't obvious what you two were doing? I was living in your apartment, for Christ's sake." Alec chose that moment to speak, looking panicked. "Jace, we're not, I mean, what do you...but how..." He was shaking visibly, going pale.

"What's going on?" asked Clary, looking confused, her eyes shifting between Jace and Alec.

Arms folded, Jace Looked at Alec. "I don't see the big issue here." he said. "why don't you tell Clary how-"

Magnus, who had been watching the proceedings from the sofa, snapped his fingers, Jace slumping to the ground mid sentence. "Don't worry," he said, inspecting a long glittery fingernail as Clary leapt off the chair with a gasp and ran to Jace's side. "He'll be up again in about ten minutes."

"Magnus-" Alec's strangled voice choked as he gazed at Jace lying on the floor.

"Don't bother, Alexander." Magnus cut him off coldly, standing up. "I'm leaving. I'm sick of being your dirty little secret. When he wakes up he won't remember the conversation." and with an angry swish of glittery fabric he left the house, slamming the door behind him.

Alec winced as the door hit the frame, and, pale and shaking, hurried out of the room with his head in his hands.

Alec: I'm sorry

Alec: Magnus please

Alec sighed, throwing his phone down onto the bed. Jace knew. He slumped down onto his bed, curling up with his head in his hands. Now that Magnus had erased Jace's memory, he should be fine, but he couldn't help the sick feeling from rising within his stomach. How long had Jace known for? Had he told anyone else? Alec groaned, fisting his hands in his hair. This wasn't how he had wanted them to know. Hell he hadn't ever wanted them to know. And now it was too late. Jace would be back at Magnus's place, having forgotten the entire thing, but it didn't change the fact that he knew. And didn't care. His phone buzzed. Alec grabbed it off the covers.

Magnus: I'm not interested.

Alec hurried to type back.

Alec: i wasn't ready to let them know. I'm sorry.

Alec hesitated, and then, face flaming, he added

Alec: I don't want to loose you.

He was still curled up on the bed when a reply came a few minutes later.

Magnus: Alec, don't be melodramatic. But you are cute.

Alec: so I'm forgiven?

Magnus: a little. I understand. But serious grovelling is in order.

Relief washed over Alec as he lay on the bed, he hadn't realized how worried he had been that Magnus wouldn't forgive him, or even want to talk to him.

Alec: I miss you. I hate that I hurt you.

Magnus: god, how could I possibly stay mad when you're this adorable? I miss you too, darling. (sigh) Jace is getting on my nerves.

Alec: cleaning?

Magnus: my kitchen reeks of bleach. I swear to god, if he so much as starts on the bathroom...

Alec: sorry. tell him I said to back off

Magnus: it's not your fault. I'll just count down the days until he can leave. However it is your fault that I can't sleep.

Alec: how?

Magnus: I can't sleep without you here with me. My bed is too empty (sad face)

Alec thought back to last night and his face warmed. His bed felt empty and he was cold with out Magnus. Waking up next to him this morning had been incredible. His phone buzzed again.

Magnus: I suppose there's no point in trying to convince you to come over, although you do owe me ;)

Alec was about to reply 'no', but paused before he hit send. He did owe Magnus. And he didn't want to sleep alone. But Jace was still at Magnus's apartment. Alec sighed. Why was it that Jace ruined everything? He didn't care about what he said and how it would hurt other people, doing exactly what he wanted. He had nearly destroyed Alec, confronting him in front of everyone and enjoying it, his supposed parabatai. Alec started to get angry. Why should he care what Jace thought? Jace obviously didn't care about him. He would do what he liked, and he wasn't about to let Jace ruin this as well, the best thing that had ever happened to him. His thumb hovered over the send button, debating, before he quickly deleted the message. Grabbing his keys and jacket Alec left the room, slamming the door behind him.

You can do this.

Alec stood on the step outside Magnus's front door. On the trip over his anger had slowly fizzled out, walking the last block with dragging feet,and ending up frozen outside the door, unable to go any further. His heart was hammering against his chest. Feeling dizzy, Alec tried to pull himself together. So what if Jace was on the other side of that door? He was tired of pretending that Jace would one day love him back. Magnus was a beautiful, incredible warlock who had saved his life numerous times, and Alec had hurt him, over a stupid fantasy that he was too immature to let go of. And now Magnus was holed up in his bedroom alone while Jace wreaked havock on his apartment. Alec thought of what he had rehearsed on his way over, which seemed stupid now that he was actually here. He couldn't do this. He was shaking, palms sweaty.

As Alec started to turn away, he heard shouting from inside the apartment, followed by a slamming door. Next minute, a vacuum cleaner started up. Magnus hated vacuuming. Chairman meow was terrified of the noises the vacuum cleaner made, Alec picturing him cowering under the kitchen table. That did it. Jace could say what he liked to Alec, but Magnus had agreed to let him stay in his apartment for his own protection, and Jace was being an immature sulky brat. Before he could chicken out again, Alec pushed the door open, striding over to where Jace was vaccuming Magnus's rug, a cruel, twisted grin on his face. he obviously thought he had won the argument Alec had heard just before.

He turned around in surprise as Alec walked over and ripped the cord out of the socket. "Alec," Jace said in surprise, "What are you doing here?" He grinned. "The institute just not the same without my sparkling company?" Alec growled, and grabbing Jaces shoulder, pushed him back against the wall. "What are you doing?" he said angrily.

"Cleaning." answered Jace, looking confused. "Alec what-"

"Cut it out." Alec hissed at him. "Just back off, okay? Magnus is doing you a huge favour by letting you stay here, and he hates cleaning, so stop it. In fact, stop being your swollen headed, obnoxious self for just a minute and appreciate what he's doing for you." Alec was breathing hard, his hand still pushing Jace's shoulder into the wall. Jace looked stunned. Slowly Alec dropped his hand and took a step back, shocked at what he had just done. He'd never yelled at Jace like that before. After a moment Jace seemed to regain his composure, crossing his arms. "Don't try to tell me what to do." He said, voice cold. "It's only because of your little crush that he's involved at all."

"exactly" said Alec, a slow smile spreading across his face "imagine what would happen if, say, Clary got hurt and needed healing?" at the sound of Clary's name Jace froze. Alec continued,watching him carefully. "Without me around, do you think he'll come running to save her?" Alec knew he would feel bad about manipulating Jace later, but for now adrenalin still pumped through his veins, fueling his anger. Jace's eyes burned liquid gold with anger, but with Clary involved, he backed off, as Alec knew he would. "Some parabatai you are" he spat at Alec, furiously kicking a chair across the room. "Why don't you go sleaze up to your pet warlock boyfriend?" and with that he stormed down the hall and into his room, slamming the door.

Alec let out a shaky breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He almost couldn't believe what he'd done. Him and Jace had fought, yes, but never like that. Guilt washed over him as he thought about how he'd brought Clary into it. That was a low blow, and they both knew it. He wondered how long Jace would be mad at him for. But accompanying the guilt and regret was a new sense of euphoria - it was out. No longer would he have to sneak around behind everyone's backs and deny his relationship with Magnus. Jace knew and Alec hadn't denied it, had pretty much confirmed it, and although Jace was angry about Clary, he didn't care about Alec being gay. Alec wasn't going to deny that that hurt, more than a little, but at the moment all he could think about was Magnus. Magnus - who was at this very moment hiding in his bedroom.

Alec turned and walked over to the closed door, knocking on it. A low growl answered him, and then the door handle, which he had just been about to turn, fizzed sparks at him, burning his hand. Alec yelped and stepped backwards. "Magnus, what the hell?" He called, "it's me, open up." he nursed his injured hand and scowled at the door. A few moments silence greeted him, and then the door was flung open. Magnus stood there staring at him. He was wearing silver silk pajama bottoms and a gold mesh vest, his face clean of make-up, hair still artfully styled. He reached out a slender hand and pulled Alec towards him, his mouth flattening out against his, hands in his hair. Alec groaned, responding to the kiss, forgetting everything. Magnus's kisses were hot and urgent, Alec reaching up and pulling him closer. When Alec eventually broke off the kiss he rested his forehead on Magnus's chest, sighing. God he had missed him.

"I thought you weren't coming," Magnus sighed, nuzzling into Alec's hair. "You didn't answer my texts." He sounded a little hurt.

"I wasn't going to," answered Alec, his voice muffled against Magnus's skin. "But I decided that I didn't care anymore about what anyone thought." Magnus froze, and took a step back in surprise. "What?" he glanced towards Jace's closed bedroom door. "I'm serious," Alec said to a disbelieving Magnus. He reached up to twine his arms around him, but Magnus held his hands away, looking down at him in confusion. Alec sighed, looking at the floor. "You were right. I was being stupid and hurting you by not being able to admit what this is." He felt the telltale blush rise in is cheeks. "I don't care about what Jace thinks, or what anyone thinks, for that matter." he continued, feeling his face grow hotter. "I decided to come over anyway, and told Jace to cut it out and leave your apartment alone. He's sulking in his room." there was a moment of silence. Alec looked up from underneath his lashes, feeling his heart hammering. Magnus was staring at him, his hands slowly running through Alec's hair. "Um," Alec stammered, shifting his weight, "Am I forgiven now?" Magnus answered him with a kiss, their mouths fusing together. Alec forgot all about what he had been about to say as their lips molded together. It was a kiss that lasted forever, and this time it was Magnus that pulled away, gasping, his teeth raking their way down Alec's throat, making him moan and clutch Magnus tighter. "You are," gasped Magnus as he kissed his way along Alec's jaw, "One. Hundred. And. Fifty. Percent. Forgiven." Alec grinned, and brought Magnus's mouth back to his, biting on his lower lip, eliciting a soft moan from the warlock in response. "come on," Alec said with a quiet laugh, drawing Magnus towards the bedroom. "You said you couldn't sleep without me, and I'm tired." Magnus grinned and followed him in to the room "fifty steps ahead of you darling" he replied, walking round to the other side of the bed and starting to deposit the many rings and bracelets he was wearing.

Alec felt the heat rise to his face again. He may have seemed confident earlier, but his heart was hammering. Did Magnus think that...? Alec had meant it when he said that he had wanted to sleep, and desperately hoped that the warlock hadn't taken anything else from that comment. He watched Magnus as he took of his shirt, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed. Get a grip, he told himself. You brought him in here. He slowly stripped off his jacket and shoes, laying them beside the bed, and after a moments hesitation, his shirt too. Magnus had stripped off the mesh vest and was reaching for a silk pajama shirt that was lying on the floor. Alec felt relieved, and then guilty. Magnus hated sleeping in shirts, and was only doing so to make Alec more comfortable. No. He thought. Tonight, Magnus wasn't doing anything else for him.

Alec took a deep breath and walked towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind so that Magnus couldn't see his flaming face. Magnus went still in the act Of buttoning the shirt, turning his head closing his eyes as Alec kissed along his shoulder, savouring the heat and taste of his smooth caramel colored skin. "You hate sleeping in shirts." he said, and with trembling fingers, he pushed the silk fabric off Magnus's shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. Magnus turned to study him, an eyebrow raised. "Are you sure?" he said quietly, and Alec nodded, his blush deepening as he looked away. Magnus put two fingers under his chin, gently tilting his head back up, running a finger across Alec's cheek. "This is adorable" he murmured, his lips brushing against Alec's jaw. Alec shivered, drowning in the sensation of Magnus's lips on his skin. "I don't know what happened to change you, but I'm not complaining." Magnus said, pulling a slightly dazed Alec over to the bed. "I get to sleep here with my gorgeous, blue-eyed shadow hunter, even when the blonde is down the hall." He grinned, and lay down on the mattress, Alec following his example.

As they lay there, Alec felt the familiar surge of anxiety attack him, his shoulders stiff. He was in bed with Magnus, who he had told not to wear a shirt. Alec was also shirtless, and he tensed up as he felt long fingers brush against his torso, the unfamiliar feeling of skin on skin making him jolt and panic. What had he been thinking! Slowly, Magnus reached over and pulled him close, nuzzling into him. As he lay there, Alec felt the tension in his shoulders relax. He trusted Magnus, and knew he wouldn't push him, ever, to do anything that he didn't want to do. And he wanted this.

Alec tentatively reached over to wrap his arms around his gorgeous warlock boyfriend, warmth enveloping him as Magnus trailed hot, lazy kisses down his shoulder and arm. Their breath mingled as they lay there, Alec's lips resting in the hollow of Magnus's throat, more content than he ever remembered being.


End file.
